CUT THE STRESS, TRUST YOUR GUT AND KNOW YOUR FEELS
I ask every one of my couples “How do you want to feel on your wedding day?” and “How do you want your guests to feel?”
*Insert cricket noises and blank stares*
Surprisingly, many couples have not even thought about or discussed this as they have been bogged down in their Pinterest vision board, checklists, spreadsheets, budgets and just the whole wedding planning process.
If you’re clear on the feels, the details hold less weight as all of your decisions will line up to the vision, which means less pre wedding anxiety – yay! Not to mention your vendors will know exactly what they need to do to make it happen and can be flexible on the finer wedding details.
We are seeing more couples elope and have micro weddings so they can spend their money and energy on what makes the moments most memorable and authentic for them, rather than what they think they should do or have witnessed at previous ceremonies and weddings.
TAKE THE PLUNGE
Here I am prompting you to take the plunge and let this world of disruption work in your favour. Be honest with yourselves and bring you and your spouse to be back to your true individual wants and desires to celebrate your epic and irreplaceable wedding day. When we get to this space everything flows and you may even be surprised how easy it all feels once the wedding related anxiety dissipates.
Making values based and intuitive decisions about your celebration is the quickest way to eliminate wedding stress and decision fatigue. So, think Marie Kondo style decluttering for your wedding planning. If you want to feel joy on your day when faced with any decision, if joy isn’t in the body when you’re thinking about it – bin it – plus that’s what your wedding planner or friends and family members are there for. I promise this will eradicate all wedding anxiety on the day and you can just float through feeling exactly the way you had intended.
TRUST IS KEY
A word of caution here, for this process to fully work for you, you need to clear out the FOMO, the crippling comparison ego and keep your boundaries. This is where the trust bit comes into play. Trust yourself to know what is going to bring out the best moments for you, your bridal party and your wedding guests. We all know the best weddings we have been to have been when we lie our tipsy head on the pillow post celebrations and say “that wedding was so them”.
To get clear on what you want to feel on your big day, settle in a quiet cosy space with a hot drink (for once I suggest against wine) and close your eyes – this will take just a few minutes I promise. Imagine standing in front of your partner on your day.
As you visualize looking at them or standing beside them.
- What are you feeling?
- What does it feel like in your body?
- What sensations do you feel in your muscles, skin, and bones?
- Are you feeling… Love? Joy? Playfulness? Giggly? Calm? Serious? Hyped?
- Now imagine looking out to your guests and loved ones.
- What expressions do they have?
- How are they standing?
- What does your body language tell you?
WRITE IT DOWN
Now that you have some awareness of feelings ask yourself if you could ONLY have three things as part of your wedding day what would they be?
- Good Food?
- String Quartet?
- Your Parents and in laws?
- Your Fur Baby?
- A kick-ass DJ?
There are no right answers, just go with the first three things that come to your mind and write them down.
Now you know what you value most and how you want to experience your day, bounce this off your partner to make sure you’re on the same page and share this with your vendors to guarantee you have a stress-free wedding full of the right feels.
5 THINGS TO DO TO PREVENT STRESS LEADING UP TO AND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY
A few additional things that will help to prevent that pre wedding anxiety and help during the wedding planning process and on the day of:
- Make sure you focus on self awareness and self care – take care of and don’t be so hard on yourself. Wedding planning should be a fun process. Although sometimes stressful, it’s important to live in the moment and know that things will all come together.
- Take up a yoga class once a week, or maybe you prefer boxing or running to let off some stress when you feel overwhelmed. Do whatever it is that helps YOU destress.
- Make sure you continue to spend quality time with your partner, as you don’t want to always be wedding planning.
- Invest in a wedding planner – whether it’s a hard copy planner or an Excel spreadsheet. This should include things like your wedding budget, cost of wedding dress, guest list, seating chart, details of all your wedding vendors and more.
- And if all else fails. Relax and have a long bath or a massage!
Cheers, here’s to making sure your wedding is stress free and full of the good stuff. And whatever you do, don’t sweat the small stuff!